-Christmas Eve-

yes,
1 year.
i've made my decision.
so sorry.
conflicting,my feeling now.
too bad.

-Reflection-

-i'm two sided-

-15 months-

so-called 'reunion' ?

so, 1yr + 3 months since,

i ought to change,

but i din't.

remain

the unreality.

-Aug~Sep-

after a month of rushing this and that,
concert, promotion video,competition,dualism workshop,structure journal, and mooncake festival performance in school.
1.concert- i think i dint prepare well, even a small solo part i'm not confident in playing it,
2.video- the first time being the director,the freaking important shooting angle.
3.workshop- first workshop i join,you know what differences of us and others, hows the designs of others compared with us,i got the very strong desire to get awards of design,to beat off other school.
4.structure journal- no choice,last minute.
5.performance-though i can be deemed as experienced stage performers,but this is really my very first time singing on stage as performer.
and also, the very first time i forgot a small part of lyrics.....i juz lalalala, everybody was laughing! omg!!
not preparing well again....

this is indeed a fruitful month,
my interests in my life, music,architecture,videoshooting,drawing, singing(shameshame haha),
hopefully throughout this few years the direction would be kept on going,
ambitious,but not overweening,
but there's a thing i'm still at a nonplus...
goodluck,times tell the answer.

-乐浪之必定卡-

很幸运哦这一次~比赛前五天才真正地练~而且这五天大部分都时间都和朋友出去。。

还蛮对不起那些练很久的其他参赛者~

其实前面还好,弹到后面就'卡'到乱了-.-

所以我的毕兹'卡'真的有到味~

练不熟呢,就是前几个小时在后台不管弹到多好,一上台就是糟糕~

头脑想的是跑音指法，而不是用心投入在歌曲里~~

不过自己找音自己练自己处理的曲呢，会更深刻记得~

很像以前都是老师处理，我照弹，就不会去想说为什么这边要坚强还是减弱等等~

好就好在呢前两次的参赛经验~让我没那么紧张~

虽然我真的觉得自己弹得不是很好，

但还是要谢谢我的婉萍老师以前的教导^^

- 0805 -

5 more days to the competition of after 4 years,
lack of time to practices is so true yet seems being an excuse for myself,
what to make up is just proving myself,
nobody would comment on you,unless you never try your best.

prejudices,couldn't be avoided all the time.
as well as the people love negating others.
a sentence, ruin your efforts.
always,always existing.

sometime i can just blame myself, too passive.

-Run for hopes-

you know,

after giving a run for yourself, 

what you get from running,

is hope.

i gain hope, especially at night. 

a hot milo,

instead of beer,

with musics,

and

goodnight.

-马云语录-

马云语录

【马云：我最遗憾的错误】01年，我犯了一个错误，我告诉我的18位共同创业同仁，他们只能做小组经理，而所有的副总裁都得从外面聘请。现在十年过去了，我从外面聘请的人才都走了，而我之前曾怀疑过其能力的人都成了副总或董事。我相信两个信条：态度比能力重要，选择同样也比能力重要！

【马云：不能统一人的思想 但可以统一人的目标】千万不要相信你能统一人的思想，那是不可能的。 30%的人永远不可能相信你，不要让你的同事为你干活，而让他们为我们的共同目标干活，团结在一个共同的目标下，要比团结在一个人周围容易的多。

【马云提醒：细节好的人格局一般都差】1.有人觉得我牛，6分钟说服了孙正义，其实是他说服了我。见孙正义之前，我在硅谷至少被拒绝了40次。2.做企业赢在细节，输在格局。3.格局，“格”是人格，“局”是胸怀，细节好的人格局一般都差，格局好的人从来不重细节，两个都干好，那叫太有才!

【马云：领导比员工多什么？】 领导永远不要跟下属比技能，下属肯定比你强；如果不比你强，说明你请错人了。1）要比眼光：比他看得远；2）要比胸怀：男人的胸怀是委屈撑大的，要能容人所不容；3）要比实力：抗失败的能力比他强；一个优秀的领导人的素质就是眼光、胸怀和实力。

【马云：领导别当劳模】当干部之前你一定要让他学习怎样当干部，有很多干部是劳模干部，这类人很勤奋，如果你把他升为经理，他觉得领导喜欢我这样当经理，凡是带头干，但他却不能培养激励下属。真正优秀的领导是能让下属成为劳模的人，而不是自己当劳模。

【马云：中国商人千万别在“红道”上混】①人一辈子要明白钱和权两个东西是绝对不要碰在一起，当了官永远不要想有钱，当了商人千万别想权；②钱和权这两个东西碰在一起就是炸药和雷管碰在一起，必然要爆炸；③胡雪岩悲哀就悲在于他是红顶商人；④中国商人千万别在红道上混。

【马云：年轻人必须思考的4大问题】1.什么是失败？放弃就是最大的失败。2.什么叫坚强？经历许多磨难、委屈、不爽，你才知道什么叫坚强。3.你的职责是什么？比别人多勤奋一点、多努力一点、多一点理想，这就是你的职责。4.傻瓜用嘴讲话，聪明人用脑袋讲话，智者用心讲话。

【马云：人生在世在做人，不是做事】我跟自己讲我们到这个世界上不是来工作的，我们是来享受人生的，我们是来做人不是做事。如果一辈子都做事的话，忘了做人，将来一定会后悔。不管事业多成功、多伟大、多了不起，记住我们到这个世界就是享受经历这个人生的体验。忙着做事一定会后悔。

【马云：工作不要太认真 快乐就行】我特讨厌认真工作的人，工作不要太认真，工作快乐就行，因为只有快乐让你创新，认真只会更多的KPI、更多的压力、更多的埋怨，真正把自己变成机器，我们不管多伟大、多勤奋、多痛苦，永远记住做一个实实在在、舒舒服服的人，因为人才是让我们最美。

【马云:高手的竞争论】1.一定要争得你死我活的商战是最愚蠢的。2.眼睛中全是敌人,外面就全是敌人。3.竞争的时候不要带仇恨,带仇恨一定失败。4.竞争乐趣就像下棋一样,你输了,我们再来过,两个棋手不能打架。5.领导者的胸怀,就是被冤枉撑大的。6.真正做企业是没有仇人的,心中无敌,天下无敌。

【马云：胸怀是委屈撑大的】1）男人的胸怀是委屈撑大的； 2）明白自己有什么，明白自己要什么，明白自己放弃什么；3）赚钱只是结果，不是我的目的；4）心中无敌就无敌于天下；5）我们缺的不是钙而是爱。

【马云：别把抱怨当习惯】人是退化最严重的动物。跟兽比人很“弱肢”，和狗比人很“闻盲”，但人类“进化”了抱怨。偶尔为之无大碍，但当抱怨成习惯，就如喝海水，喝的越多渴得越厉害。最后发现，走在成功路上的都是些不抱怨的“傻子们”。世界不会记得你说了什么，但一定不会忘记你做了什么！

【马云给初创企业者的忠告】1、大家看不清的机会，才是真正的机会。2、让员工笑着干活。3、客户第一、员工第二、股东第三。4、少听成功学，多听失败学。5、抢在变化之前先变。6、忘掉money，忘掉赚钱。7、小聪明不如傻坚持。8、心态决定姿态，姿态决定状态。

【马云谈创业】：1.一个好的东西往往是说不清楚的，说得清楚的往往不是好东西！2.创业要找最合适的人，不一定要找最成功的人。3.这世界最不可靠的东西就是关系。4.免费是世界上最昂贵的东西。5.今天很残酷，明天更残酷，后天很美好。

【马云“四不”创业智慧】1、创业最怕就是看不见，看不起，看不懂，跟不上；2、看不见对手在哪里，看不起对手，看不懂对手为什么可以变得那么强，然后就跟不上了；3、即使对手很弱小，也一定要把对方看的很强大，即使对手很强大，也不一定要把自己看的很弱小。

【马云当你决定要创业时】便意味着 1、没有了稳定的收入；2、没有了请假的权利；3、没有了得红包的机会。然而却更意味着：1、收入不再受限制；2、时间运用更有效；3、手心向下不求人，想法若不同，结果便不同；选择不一样，生活才变样。

如果一个方案有90%的人说“好”的话，我一定要把它扔到垃圾桶里去。因为这么多人说好的方案，必然有很多人在做了，机会肯定不会是我们的了——马云

-Bygone-

it's not the prettiest, yet the hardest to reach.
that's a past that never return, yet it'd stay in our album.
one year after,bygone still never be bygone.

-Pretence-

so-called facepiece in life.

no one loves pretending, 

pretend to love someone,pretend to be good with others,pretend to help someone,

pretend to to be optimistic,pretend a happy face...

a pretence influences your life,followed by relationship with friends,family,classmates...

a pretence gives you big differences in emotion and expression..

a pretence shows yourself very evil and only yourself know how evil are you,others know too,perhaps?
a pretence makes your thought lean to always the left,the extreme first,then only comes to the positive's..

a pretence always thinks of others' shortcoming,and wont praise others sincerely...

a pretence brings no maturity..childishness..

a pretence cannot show true love..

a pretence has no real characteristic in whatever situation,love,friendship..

a pretence unfolds your ego..haughtiness..

a pretence brings up to your nature of lovey-dovey ..

a pretence leads to the life without real colours..

a pretence shows disfluency in talking..

a pretence is not a good example and role model for young siblings..

a pretence is easily debunked by others without telling you..

ya,all're about pretence.

what's the society now obtaining?

bingo, pretence.

-毕兹卡欢庆会-

编号57，第三届乐浪，也是我的第三次独奏赛，嘻嘻。
5月报名，到现在还没过完整首曲子，还没背谱，嘻嘻完蛋。
不过今天的斗志来了。六月整个假期要来了，要准备了。
来介绍这次我的参赛曲子。

-毕兹卡欢庆会

-MIss out Sudirman-

you know the feeling when you've booked the ticket and ready to wake up early,
and lastly when u wake up, you realize you got sick!!
speechless..
but the feeling is truely bad, dizzy,nausea,sweating and cnt even walk properly..
recover soon please.
sigh.
china vs indonesia
korea vs germany
siennnnnnn.

-A week after GE-

a month of  politic enthusiasm,a week after GE,
i've no power to change the results.
Being pacaba im so proud of myself and the others pacaba who'd been working hard together,
leading to the election'safety' in gelang patah and the winning of Kit Siang uncle
undoubtedly it's indeed the experience no much people can experience in dewanraya,
waiting for the arrival of boxes and winners with few partners.
you know rumors are just too terrifying once spreading in fb,
the information are just too exaggerated compared to what i've seen just in front of me.
the counting works are really time consuming,that's why a lot of ballots boxes reached dewanraya very late.
now i know people like surmising simply and blindly, and misunderstanding all the spr and pacabas.
So far, i know pacabas in gelang patah did very well and collected all the copies of borang14.
Borang 14 is not really familiar to each of everyone except pacabas and spr people.
it's importance is once we got the copy,the results are fixed and wont be changed mo matter the ballots are added or changed by anyone,because the final results which is key in into the system and showing via projector screen is according to the real  borang 14 carried by ktm.
i just wonder other state facing a lot of such problems like, some school without pacabas? different numbers between  borang 14 and its copy( changed by ktm?) all these must be investigated.
however, i think it comes to the end...
and  just wait for 5 more yrs.
and the main influence,constituency.will be rearranged, due to the gerrymandering system.
it has been the front page of newspaper in every countries these few days.
and now everyone in the world know us . good chance for promoting out country.

reading,learning and experiencing,
being smart to help our country tomorrow.


http://www.economist.com/news/leaders/21577390-after-tainted-election-victory-najib-razak-needs-show-his-reformist-mettle-dangerous


* BORING SATURDAY.

-No change,no future-

Only way to gain better future,

is CHANGE.

i fear what would be happened if our country were still governed by all those SCUMBAG.

system and culture of corruption will be kept spreading.

Think ans vote wisely,all Malaysian, no matter which races you're,

what we want is not only verbal 1malaysia, 

we need your action.

5/5 - the big day for all malaysians.

-21st-

21st, a stride of my life.

key to unlock the door of next checkpoint.
somebody ask me, what crazy things u have done for past 21 yrs?
erm..those were not really crazy...
but,heaps of crazier things awaits me to be created.

she's the one blowing candle at the same day with me.lasting 311.

she and she are the alway buddies.

and, she's just too important to me.

-cny eve-

chinese new yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!
a day before returning i never sleep just for completing my final board,the most reluctant works ever.
im not excellent in drawing board,fuck.
meet u,the most 'thirsting' matter.
it's still an uncertainty for you.
it seems close,yet distant. ya,distant.
u've too much of apprehension or...misgiving.
for you,that's sentiment.
as what you are, as what you think,
as yourself.
2moro muar,then langkawi.
relaxing myself on beach, beach, beach!!!

-5 days-

5 days of holidays,
being occupied by her, met her nearly every day here,
pityingly she sick since few days ago,
first day,first meeting after a month.hope you like my silly action and herbal tea.
sec day,first lunch after a month.totally ignore the nice pizza,it's really a good restaurant,macoporlo kitchen.
was worrying about her leg,hopefully getting well soon.
third day, first time i try the strange bean,haha,you're cute when biting it. first time,you feel it.
forth day, tiramisu night, freaking greentea tiramisu, candles.
a real man respects his girl and protects her.
fifth day, eyes on you, every single second, i'll never forget what you've told me. and thanks for our photos.
2 weeks after today,would it still last,i wonder.

you're lovely.

-10-

few days after,
sitting on sofa,blogging in a my dark living room,
it's kinda....romantic==
these few days,
a stupid presentation drawing,i just gt 3 out of 10,it spoils my mood exactly.
im afraid i cnt get the tuition fee discount,for me,i just wanna use it for travelling,arhhh
archi.history will be having a trip to sarawak probably.
always struggling on design, last project of this sem,a portable,movable shelter,to fill in a person.
have to waste so much money again to buy all materials, and lastly the most important part, presentation board. judges were just simply taking a look on it or even terribly they dont bother about how's your design and keep censuring you and your board,'what kind of board is this?' ...
life is always not under our expectation.

Enjoying chating with somebody until 1.30.
and, ya,a lovely webcam tonight. haha.
when someone put so much of cares on the thing you gave her,even it's small,and she carries it every day and night.how's your feeling. great,and....getting deeper,haha.
llife is always touched by someone  ,hopefully you're touched by me tooooo.

night.
friday again.

-4th-

my china friend aka ex-roommate,i didnt expect he can do any good favor to me since he likes smoking,carlsberg,online game every day though i've been here for 2 months,BUT,thankful to his consideration like giving me fine wardrobe,bottom bed,automatically switch off light and sound when i sleep,talking with me in good manner,dint angry of me closing and open door frequently every morning and night,haha,use his washing machine,changing light tube,and lastly he left his speaker here,haha,too heavy for him to bring back to china,so,yea,im lucky i think, he is GONGJUN. surely i will visit him not now.
the starting 4 days of 2013, did i manage to think and handle everything in brand new 2013 and 21st ' ways?
did i plan and decide as well as determine something rationally or depending mood like the pasts?
im still wondering ...im still working myself up..and im still learning and doing..
2011 to 2012,the word 'change' always be kept in my stubborn and ego mind until 2013.keep it on.i think one day i will truely and definitely realize the true meaning of 'change'.
201314,have you told ur beloved? i havent. it's not a suitable numbering i should say. there's still a bridge.Passing it ,time's needed.
First futsal game in 2013 just now,freaking qio.
you know,everybody pursue his/her dream using their own ways.I used to think of all kind of stupid things to fulfill my 'what should i do in the year' list. I was just too young when thinking all of them,but im just too old when i think that all those are childish and wont be happened in such a shameful ways. wtf,im still young, aint i??? so,apologize to those who're ridiculed by me that always doing childish matter,u have your own thoughts. I used to not be a person who like to judge others,didnt i? so,still the same,live for yourself,live your life,but not to be selfish,sometimes,i think occasional selfishness is still with me.trying to throw it out.
Midnight blogging are always irrational and emotional and unacceptable.
awaiting Les Miserable tomorrow, my anne hathaway.
and somehow i think that....1 month and 5 days of waiting is just too long. i cnt wait. u know,time's always the key factor of everything's changes.ya,TIME!!!
let nature takes its course? this's always the way i can be so optimistic in my life,yet, initiative is indispensable.
yea,goodnight,
im enjoyed in blogging under a desk lamp,blowing in of wind from windows in front of my desk,light off (off  automatically,electrical problem ==) if fortunately i cn stay here for 3 yrs, life's indeed great.

-2013前夕-

2012之照~
帮我拍这张照的人很了不起~

年头说到年尾
成功当上国光的临教，教早上班，5K
我爱教，爱说话，爱和学生沟通，
可是我其实不是适合老师的生活的人，我不喜欢在学校的感觉
半年的'教书生涯'其实过得不是普通的快。真的。
每天来回，吃饭，webcam，睡觉，就酱。
我不善于和学校里的老师沟通是真的。
2月去泰国bangkok。
3月成绩出,我没有人家喜悦和悲伤,我还感到侥幸,我很像没有其他人努力.
drumset和画画，谢谢两位老师。
4月，下午班，2J , 教的时候很无奈和生气,回想起却非常有趣。
你们都很可爱，老师说对不起呀如果有打骂你们。
教书教到6月结束。
6月再去槟城，我相信那是我一辈子都不会忘记的曾经。很快乐。对吧？
当了半年的老师，后几个月还是老师。补习老师。
家教，补习中心，教琴。我不会忘记那班创价的学生。
我在那里教得很开心，1年的时间，你们很棒。
7月大学出,我中ump,environmental tech,不是我想要的读来干嘛。
我从小就要读archi,可是别人从小由如此的志愿,就会很拼命的努力.
我没有。
8月,和jun两个人10天背包sabah，大自然的魅力，要考潜水执照。嗯快了。
旅行永远都是人生奋斗的目标
嗯，持续了两三年，结束了，是我的错。
9月，每个人进本地大学了，我呢，还在教书，赚的钱呢？我也不懂。。
10月，张副校长，感谢你，在国光，很清醒有她
月尾，开始上课。我读我爱的东西。没有人懂我读的学校是哪间，
可是我懂这里的archi其实不简单。不好小看。不输人。
学校upgrade成uni，我觉得我很幸运。
每天都在画~功课其实刚刚好,就是last minute才有动力.哈。
12月,演奏会，赶上赶下不后悔。一份挂念，我心里有数。
是那种感觉，没错。
对的人还是错的人呢  感觉性格兴趣相处很对 哪里错
执着下去，失败也值得。
我一直相信只要是真心地为人付出，叫舍得，不亏欠自己。
继续加油吧。
31号，一直画一直画，
电话一起倒数，呵呵。
我说我会加油，只怕你一口拒绝。
明天新一天，新一年！

21岁不简单！